


Trouble in Paradise

by RaidouKuzunoha



Series: (Not So) Alone In Heaven [1]
Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Belial is horny, M/M, Mike and Gabe are married, Sandy has Depression, Trans Male Character, Trans! Sandalphon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-06 13:19:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15195614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaidouKuzunoha/pseuds/RaidouKuzunoha
Summary: Depression was fun. Being dragged out of your current romantic relationship by your lesbian friends and forced to live on their sofa until you could sort out your broken relationship was also fun.





	1. Breakups, Beer and Belial

The vibration of a cellphone woke him up from his third nap that day. Sandalphon just ignored it. He knew exactly who it was, and his current roommates would kick his ass if he took the call. The sofa he was lying on felt like it was taking his body shape by now, the borrowed blankets containing his scent and warmth. Sandalphon wondered how much time he had spent on this couch by now. He’d lost count of the days he had been staying at his friends’ house, though he was also certain he had slept all day without having to check the time. Depression was fun. Being dragged out of your current romantic relationship by your lesbian friends and forced to live on their sofa until you could sort out your broken relationship was also fun.

“Ahh— footsteps…” Sandalphon pulled the blankets over his face to pretend be asleep. The couple intervened regardless.

“How much longer do you plan to stay here decomposing on our sofa? Have you even taken off that hoodie since you got here?” The straight-to-the-point muscular woman taking off Sandalphon’s covers was Michael.

“Mike! Couldn’t you be nicer about this?” The chubbier woman next to her was her wife, Gabriel. Both had been friends of Sandalphon and his current partner for a while now. And they knew their relationship was falling apart, because Sandalphon kept venting to them about the whole situation. Gabriel insisted that he stay over at their place so he could get a better insight on his current situation, as him being head over heels for Lucifer did not help his rational thinking.

“Uh… Sandy?” Gabriel’s eyes shifted to the phone currently vibrating on the couch across from the curled-up man. “How many messages has he sent?”

“…”

“You better have not replied to any of them yet. You’ve only been a apart for a week and I made it loud and clear to him he shouldn’t contact you while you’re staying here.”

“I… I haven’t… at least… not all of them…” he muffled his last words.

“SANDALPHON.”

“Oh dear. Let’s not scare poor Sandy away now, Mike. But this is the perfect opportunity for you to come join us.”

Michael leaned against the couch and crossed her arms, clearly not yet pacified. “We were thinking of getting some drinks in a gay bar a few blocks away… having a bit of fun should help clear your head a bit.”

Sandalphon grimaced. A bar was basically the exact opposite of what he generally found fun. He pulled one of the blankets closer around his hunched frame. “I’ll pass.”

“Oh?” a mischievous smile appeared across Gabriel’s face. “Well in that case I’d love for you to tidy up the place! You’ve been living here free of charge, after all.”

“Did you just invite me to stay to make me your slave?”

“Hmm? Did you say something” That smile of hers was dangerous.

“Nothing, nothing. I’ll go”

Showering and dressing up felt like a chore. Sandalphon hadn’t brought too many of his clothes from Lucifer’s place so he just put on a white tank top, brown jeggings, a brown hoodie that could easily fit two of him inside it and black ankle boots. Michael let out a disappointed sigh when he approached the door. This didn’t look much different than what he wore while sleeping on the sofa.

“You’re not going to get any game like that, ya’ know?” Michael said, looking over him in disapproval.

“He looks fine! Besides, it wouldn’t be Sandy otherwise.”

Sandalphon ignored the pestering couple and walked past them through the door. It was a clear sign: let’s just get this over with.

* * *

The hooded man walked behind his friends. They were already getting a bit too personal just walking to the bar. Sandalphon let out a deep breath. It had been a while since he last came to one of these places. Probably 6 years? How old was he now, even? 25 maybe? Yeah…that sounded about right. He must have looked stupid trying to count his years with his hands as Gabriel shouted his name while signaling at the entrance to the bar.

He really wasn’t ready for this. 

Upon walking inside Sandalphon was automatically hit with the fact that the music was too loud, strangers were too close, and the combination of smells from whatever the hell they’d been smoking mixed with the scent of cheap alcohol was terrible. The three of them sat at the bar, since the couple didn’t expect to stay seated long enough to need an actual table.

“The first round is on me.” Michael practically brimmed with confidence at this statement. She probably got paid a bonus at her security job. The couple patiently waited for Sandalphon to pick his drink first. It was obvious he’d only been drinking cheap canned beer for years now.

“A mojito, I guess.”

“No, that’s too weak.” Michael scoffed at him, making Sandalphon bristle slightly at her tone.

“Tequila sunrise?”

“Nevermind. I’m picking for you.” Michael insisted, to hell with letting him pick first. “Two zombies and a cosmopolitan for the beautiful lady next to me.”

That felt like an awful reminder of his current romantic predicament. What else could he expect from the married couple who still acted like they did when they had just started dating in high school. It was frankly nauseous at times for Sandalphon, but that was probably him being bitter. It didn’t take long for one of the bartenders to bring up their order. He almost spat it out.

“This tastes terrible. What’s it made with? The souls of sinners?”

“You’ll get used to the taste, just don’t stop drinking it.” Michael slapped his back with maybe a bit too much force. 

“We can switch if you’d like.” Gabriel had good intentions, but Sandalphon was a stubborn man and a challenge was just put in front of him.

“That’s fine. I’ll just die.”

* * *

A few minutes had passed and Sandalphon was already feeling not only buzzed but extremely uncomfortable with his companions, who had no business making out that much right next to him at the bar. He turned his chair to look at the dancefloor. _Why not,_ Sandalphon figured, sliding out of the stool and heading in the direction of the loud, pulsing music. he was done with his drink and had nothing else to do, anyway.

_A terrible knot in my stomach is why not._ but it was still better than just third-wheeling over at the bar. He was always awkward at dancing, especially alone. Apparently, a man took that as a challenge, since he approached Sandalphon almost immediately after he stepped onto the dancefloor.

“You come here often?” a voice asked from behind. When Sandalphon turned he was surprised to see a tall dark-haired man dressed in what he could only describe as a designer blackish-purple leather suit, a purple feather boa and triangle sunglasses. But those weren’t at the forefront in his mind, as what Sandalphon first centered on was the fact that this man was wearing no shirt under his jacket, only one button fastened. And he was absolutely ripped. 

“Clearly not.” Sandalphon replied, his eyes failing to look away from the stranger’s chest. The taller man chuckled.

“If you don’t mind I’d like being your first… to dance with of course” he extended his hand forward like a nobleman asking his partner to join him in a waltz.

_Ah, he’s calling me a virgin, isn’t he._ Sandalphon thought on the innuendo while taking his hand. He had nothing to lose anyway.

The way they danced was clearly out of sync. Sandalphon looked like he got his moves from a Just Dance game, while the other man seemed to prefer more pelvic thrusts and close-contact movements than that of his partner. After one and a half songs— what felt like an eternity of awkward dancing—Sandalphon decided he had enough and went back to sit on the bar without saying a word. Gabriel and Michael nowhere to be found. His search stopped when he realized his dance partner had followed him… Maybe it was a mistake to accept that dance.

“What shots do you like? Or you rather have me surprise you?” The other man grinned, sidling up next to Sandalphon at the bar.

“Are you paying?”

“What kind of man do I look like? Of course.”

“Then hit me with whatever you want.”

“Hey! Eight Jager Bombs over here!”

“I can drink whatever you don’t.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“You like challenges?” Sandalphon purred almost malignly as the eight shots were placed in front of them. Each was supposed to drink four out of the eight, but before his new drinking buddy finished his third one, Sandalphon had already drank five of them.

“Is that all you got?” Sandalphon put down his last glass with a grin on his face and his hands visibly shaking. The other man didn’t look phased in the slightest, which if he’d had the presence of mind to think about probably would’ve pissed Sandalphon off, but as it was his mind was just buzzing pleasantly.

“Oh, there is plenty more where that came from.” The tall man replied with amusement, though to his credit the next thing that was slid to him was a fairly tall glass of water. Sandy grimaced but sipped it anyway. It was clear even to him even in his drunken state that he hadn’t been talking about the alcohol, anyway.

“So what brings you here anyway, angel?”  
Sandy grumbled. “My friends. You know, trying to get me to “move on” or some shit.”

“What, a bad break up?”

Maybe it wasn’t his most spectacular idea, spilling the beans about his mess of a relationship to a stranger. But Sandy found that he was feeling pretty loose-lipped right now. He probably needed this. And there was something inviting about the man sitting next to him at the bar, slowly sipping at a beer.

He found himself blurting out the situation, how controlling Lucifer was even if the man didn’t realize it himself, and how Sandy would die for him if he had to, if he could. How this thing they’d had for so long wasn’t failing just because of Lucifer himself, but because of Sandy, too. How if his friends hadn’t interfered they would’ve gone on with it for years without realizing how much they were hurting each other.

The dark-haired man next to him took it all in, simply sitting there and sipping at his drink. When Sandy finally finished venting, the man grinned.

“Oho…so you’re here to forget, aren’t you. You know…I could help you with that.”

That was starting to sound like a good idea. And speaking of helping…Sandalphon reached to grab at the other man’s beer so that he could take a swig and nearly toppled over. Huh.

“Woah there, cowboy! I think that’s enough for you today. We should get you an Uber.” The taller man offered his shoulder to Sandy, who slung an arm across it and leaned into his new friend. _It’s not like I wanted to be here in the first place,_ Sandy thought to himself.

The man took out a phone and started to help him walk out of the club.

“What’s your address?”

“3412 Canaan— Ah.” Sandalphon stopped on his tracks as they walked across the street. That’s not his _current_ address, that’s Lucifer’s place. “I don’t remember.”

“We could go to my place until you remember. How about we exchange numbers on our way there.” The dark-haired man took off his sunglasses and winked as he took out his phone.

The Uber didn’t take long, and once inside they exchanged more than just phone numbers. Sandalphon had already processed the other man’s plan: a one-night stand with what seemed to be a lonely and easy man. Which, honestly, he was right about. At this point Sandalphon would latch onto anyone just to see if he could move on from his partner—or, more likely, current ex. So why wait for another date when he was already at his lowest? 

Sandalphon was very pleased with the look of suprise he got when he planted a kiss onto the other man’s neck.

“Hungry little fella aren’t you?” the man’s grin was interrupted by Sandalphon’s lips. He really didn’t care about what witty remarks the other had to say. He just wanted to get over it and get some ass. He could only pray the driver wasn’t anyone who knew him when they started making out in the car.

All in all, the drive didn’t take too long.

* * *

Their shared kisses became sloppier and rougher as they got into the elevator. Sandalphon had the other man pinned against the wall, and he was loving it.

“Didn’t expect you to be so aggressive,” The dark-haired man laughed, panting a bit, “you’re full of surprises.”

“Wait until we get to bed.” The other man’s laugh became a huge grin at Sandalphon’s forward statement. They were both hungry to start getting into business. They pulled away from each other to catch their breath and walk properly into the apartment, but the distance didn’t last long. As the owner of the place tried reaching for his keys, Sandalphon was already undoing the taller man’s tight leather pants from behind. He was like a weird horny leech. The pants were almost half off by the time the door was open. 

“Fuck… I don’t have my…” Sandalphon reached at his crotch, hoping the man would get the picture, the drowsiness of his drinks finally catching up to him heavily.

“That’s fine. We can make it work.” The other man said while using the pause to take off his pants and lead them both into the bedroom. Sandalphon sat on the bed as he watched the black-haired man rummage around in a drawer. The way he made his ass wiggle in those boxers was Doing Things to him. Sandy let out a long breath.

“Sandalphon.”

“Hm?”

“That’s the name you’ll be screaming tonight.” He fumbled, getting a laugh from his _very impressed_ partner.

“Is that so?” he put a bottle of lube and a dildo in Sandalphon’s hands. “You can call me whatever you want, angel, as long as you make it worth my while.” 

They sat in front of each other for a few seconds. Sandalphon looked deep in thought. He got this far but his head was already killing him, and trying to process what to do next became unbearable. Underwear was first, that’s for sure. He slowly pulled down the other’s underwear, his face with more concentration than it should be for such a simple task. Before the other man could comment on it, he felt the tip of his dick being pressed down, getting quite a good sound from him. He had been hard since the car ride, Sandalphon had felt the other’s boner throughout the whole journey and he was elated to finally be able to touch it without any clothing in between. If he could rate that dick it’d be a 10/10. The next step was lube. This was a harder task, the cap was too hard for his poor drunken brain to attempt to open.

“Do you need help?” an impatient voice wafted over from somewhere above him.

“I got this… I think.”

“That doesn’t sound very reassuring, and I could really get pounded right about now, so.” The man who already had his legs open took the tube from the other’s hands, opening it right away. Sandalphon was visibly embarrassed but was too tipsy to care so he continued the preparation, pouring lube all over his hand. His shaky hand. Another obstacle in this already messy meet-n-fuck. 

“Do I have to do everything myself? You should be glad you’re cute.” The man sighed indulgently and guided Sandalphon’s fingers to his entrance. He could scissor without help and was already eliciting low moans from the larger man. They were a good kind of raspy. Sandalphon kissed his partner’s neck and chest, the other man’s breath hitching and his hips rolling. The stranger was pleased, his face with what you could only describe as the most sinful smile. 

And that’s the last thing Sandalphon saw before he passed out.


	2. Clone Wars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re right…” he swallowed, “I’m sorry………uh…”
> 
> “Belial. Introductions were lost in the heat of the moment last night.” Belial winked as he said that line.
> 
> “…Like the demon?”
> 
> “Like one of the princes of hell, to be exact.” Belial had stood up and gone back to the kitchen. Now that things had calmed down he could finally serve his burgers.
> 
> “Was your family in a _cult_ or something?”

The light from the window was unbearable, and the moment he tried shielding himself with the blankets was when he remembered his situation. Sandalphon felt the shame and regret as if it was slapping him in the face. It didn’t come from the fact that he was lying on the bed of a random stranger who bought him a few drinks. It wasn’t even from the fact that he didn’t tell his friends where he was going to be and his phone was probably filled with angry and worried voicemails. 

No… it was something _much worse._

He passed out before getting a piece of that Grade A ass. 

And facing the man who he most likely blue-balled once he got up didn’t sound like a very appealing aspect, either.

The lingering smell of perfume between the blankets calmed his thoughts bit by bit. If he could miraculously get out of this situation on good terms with the man he’d definitely have to ask for the brand. Sandy gave himself the liberty to stretch a bit before grabbing his phone, which as predicted had enough messages and missed calls from his current roommates to make him nauseous. All the messages had some variation of “Where are you?” “Are you ok?” or “Who was that man you left with?”.

“ _Fuck_ …I didn’t even ask for his name, did I…”

He knew replying to their concerns was important, but he did _not_ have the mental capability to do so at the moment. 

“What would I even say? _Yeah I’m good! Just fell asleep while arm’s deep in a randos’ asshole!_ ” the disheveled man grunted to himself as his face fell flat on the pillow. The situation just got worse the more he thought about it. Didn’t help that he started noticing noises outside the room, meaning he’d have to face the object of his embarrassment soon enough. Sandalphon kept going through different situations in his head, each with different dialogues, to prepare himself for the inevitable. But his thoughts came to a sudden halt when he turned over uncomfortably in bed and a framed picture in the bedside table caught his eye. 

It clearly was a candid shot, probably a selfie considering the angle. It was a grainy shot for sure but the contents of the photo were unmistakeable. It was a picture of the guy he spent the night with, smiling a big, cheeky smile. But he had one arm wrapped around—

“—Lucifer?” 

He felt his stomach drop. That fluffy white hair was seared in his brain. It was unmistakeable.

_What kind of sick joke was this?_

_Was he cheating this whole time?_

_Is that the reason he was always emotionally distant? Is that why he never paid attention to him? Calm down Sandalphon…maybe they’re family…_

“Who am I kidding…” no one would have a framed picture like this next to their bed if it was just family. A rush of blood to the top of his head made him feel dizzy. He felt the need to grab the picture and throw it against the wall, along a few other things. He wanted to scream. To fight. To cry. But tears of frustration would only make him feel more defeated than he already was. Sandalphon instead grabbed the picture and stormed out of the room. He was going to demand some answers.

* * *

“Ah! You’re finally awake” the voice came from the kitchen. The man was wearing a pink apron on top of a black crop-top and purple shorts. “I just finished cooking for your hangover.”

Sandalphon could smell burgers from where he was standing, looking out from the hallway into the main area of what was a fairly spacious apartment for one person. The smell just made him more nauseous as anger and frustration constricted his chest.

“What the _fuck_ is this?” Sandalphon practically yelled as he stomped up to the other man and shoved the picture against his chest. The man only raised an eyebrow.

“I thought we were both agreeing to a one-night only thing?”

“Not fucking _that_!” his voice cracked. It was all going downhill from here. “ _Why are you with Lucifer?!_ ”

“Who?”

“My boyfrie—my ex. _Don’t play dumb with me._ ” Sandalphon was practically gritting his teeth at this point.

“Slow down, I’m not sure I follow.” The other man pointed at the white-haired man in the picture. “This guy is called Lucilius. And to my knowledge he would never date _anyone._ ” The smile that followed that statement was rueful.

“…Huh?” Sandy spluttered. Nothing made sense. Was that a fake identity? _If so it wasn’t a very good one…_

The taller man grabbed Sandy by the shoulders and directed him into a seat at the dining table. 

“Look. Take a second to calm down and show me a picture of this Lucifer of yours.”

Sandalphon took a deep breath. He had stopped shaking from anger, but his stomach still felt like it was about to release everything he has ever consumed since he was born. He didn’t have to open his phone gallery to look for a picture of Lucifer: his background picture would suffice. He was disgusted at himself for it, but he hadn’t found the heart to change the picture yet. 

“Lemme see” The taller man sat next to Sandy, reaching for his phone. His eyes widened for a second as he analyzed the image, but his face relaxed again followed by an “I see” kind of hum.

“This is very intriguing. But this Lucifer is nothing like Lucilius.”

Nothing like him? If that wasn’t the same person then they looked like a goddamn _clone_ of him.

“Look here” he continued as he put both pictures in front of Sandalphon, “they have different eyebrow shape and this Lucifer is missing one of my favorite of Cilius’ beauty marks…See? It’s there on the right side of his neck.”

Those were really weird observations, but the man was right, while both looked very similar they did seem to be entirely different people when put side by side. Lucifer had this calming air to him; his smile could make anyone feel warm inside. Meanwhile, Lucilius looked like he has a permanent resting bitch face and would stab you in a dark alley. At least that’s the impression he got from him after staring at both pictures for long enough. That couldn’t be the Lucifer he’d known for years.

“You’re right…” he swallowed, “I’m sorry………uh…”

“Belial. Introductions were lost in the heat of the moment last night.” Belial winked as he said that line.

“…Like the demon?”

“Like one of the princes of hell, to be exact.” Belial had stood up and gone back to the kitchen. Now that things had calmed down he could finally serve his burgers.

“Was your family in a _cult_ or something?” Sandalphon was trying to grasp any opportunity for a friendly conversation at this point. He felt awkward for yelling, even if he thought his reaction wasn’t unreasonable. Having silence after that whole ordeal would just make his anxiety spike. 

“I wish!” Belial handed a small plate of burgers to Sandy with a soda can while letting out a small chuckle, “my mother was crazy religious and once she learned about my lifestyle and sexual orientation she basically disowned me for being a ‘child of hell’ or something of the like. So I changed my name to go all out with the theme.”

“Ah…” Sandalphon stopped cutting his cold burger, “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Besides Belial Torres sounds way better than Alfonso Torres don’t you think?” Belial had a sincere smile on his face which caught Sandalphon off guard. He had been this close to punching this man in the dick not even a few minutes ago, but he didn’t seem to mind. That only made Sandy feel worse. Belial sat next to him with his own plate of burgers. “Better eat up fast before they get cold…er.”

“Fuck. Sorry about that too.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. But I should probably heat them up, huh.”

* * *

“So, what do you think the relationship between Cilius and Lucifer is?” Belial was looking at Sandy from the dining table as he did the dishes. Sandalphon thought it was only fair of him to do so, and anyway he had no where to be so he didn’t mind extending his stay for a bit.

“Uhh… maybe they’re related?” 

“Maybe? Shouldn’t you know your boyfriend’s family?”

“I never… asked I guess. He’d never talk about himself without being prompted. What about you? Aren’t you dating Lucilius?” Sandalphon scratched the back of his head as he placed one of the dishes in the drying rack. Thinking about Lucifer always gave him a pang in his chest.

“Only in my dreams.” The sigh that followed that was wistful. Belial leaned his head against his arms on the cool table. “We’re close, or at least as close as you can get to a man like him. That makes it more exciting.”

“Weird.” but he felt like they were kind of in the same boat. “I’ll probably ask a friend if he has a twin…or a clone machine.”

“Hoho… could you imagine how exciting that would be? Getting double teamed by clones? Sounds ideal.” The smile that accompanied that when Sandy turned around was nothing short of blissful.

_“What.”_

“Keep me updated on that~”

“S-Sure?” Sandalphon was more likely to just forget he heard any of that. Luckily for him, the conversation didn’t linger on the concept of being fucked by clone of his ex for long.

“What do you plan to do after this? From what you told me last night and the amount of notifications I saw on your phone it doesn’t sound like you have anywhere to go.” 

“You worried about me?” Sandalphon smirked at the sink, not that Belial could see him. That meal really had done wonders for his hangover and his mood.

“Just making sure I know where you’d be. You still owe me one for making me finish myself off last night.” 

Sandalphon stopped scrubbing. All the Lucifer-Lucilius drama made him forget why he was here in the first place. He passed out while fingering Belial. Honestly, after what he’d done to him this morning fucking him felt like a no-go. He was surprised Belial was still even considering getting bedded by him. Maybe he was just lightening the mood.

Sandalphon sighed.

“You’re right. I have no where to go because, as you can see, my life is in shambles. I should probably look up some cheap place to stay today.” Sandy was already drying his hands and reaching for his phone to find an Airbnb that had an actual _bed_ instead of, you know, making him sleep on someone’s living room couch. Belial piped up in that moment.

“You know, I could use a roommate.”

* * *

  


Image courtesy of [Megan](https://twitter.com/Megnutk/media) on Twitter! [Original Post](https://twitter.com/Megnutk/status/1010977547574792193)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was held at gunpoint to continue this so have fun
> 
> **Sidenote Belial is Chilean


	3. Hot, Steamed Buns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Saga Continues: Will Sandalphon Ever Leave the Couch?

"God I can't fucking _BELIEVE_ him!" Michael furiously paced around the living room area as Sandalphon finished retelling the events that occurred at Belial's apartment. "how did he _NEVER_ tell you he had a twin?! You've known each other since _high school_ for god’s sake! I swear that next time I see his face I'm going to SMASH it in."

Sandalphon almost felt bad about the threats. Almost. Lucifer kinda deserved it at this point.

"Now Mike, don't do anything rash that will get you fired…Let me handle it instead. I'll have a _talk_ with him." Gabriel smiled, giving the other two goosebumps.

Sandalphon didn't know which of the two was scarier. While Michael could clearly crush all your bones, Gabriel would give you a verbal smackdown that not even years’ worth of therapy would help you recover from. Mike sat down, brushing her blonde hair back as if to contain her frustration.

“I can’t help but wonder how many things he hid from you. I knew he was reserved but this is a whole ‘nother level, man. ” 

In response to her statement, Michael received a nudge from her partner. The pink-haired woman was silently frowning at her. The words had hit Sandy right where it hurt, and he couldn’t help but stare blankly at the floor. At this point it was unbearable for him to remember that the man he dated for 5 years never once opened up to him.

“…Sooo! Sandy! What are you planning to do about this Belial person’s proposition?” Gabriel was trying hard to change the topic to something more hopeful, though it seemed like Sandalphon was not mentally in the room anymore. “Sandy? Hey?”

“Huh?”

“Are you moving in with Belial?”

“I don’t know… I don’t really have money.”

“We could lend you some money! I won’t charge you interest this time, I promise.”

“When you say it like that it sounds _veeery_ ominous.”

“Better plan,” Mike interrupted, “we make Lucifer pay for it. He owes you that and much more.”

Sandalphon pulled his legs closer to his chest from his seated position on the couch in discomfort. “I’d really rather not have to continue living off his money, ‘specially when I’m trying to distance myself from him.”

“Fuck. That makes sense.” Michael grumbled. It looked like she really wanted to leave her boss bankrupt as pay-back for breaking his boyfriend’s heart. 

“Guys…thanks for the help, but I need at least a day or two to think this over.”

Gabriel nodded and signaled to Michael that it was time for them to take their leave. Sandalphon needed alone time, after all. Staying in their living room made it kind of hard to be alone unless Michael and Gabriel were their bedroom or away at work.

Once left alone, Sandalphon took out his phone and scrolled aimlessly on social media. When that got old, he looked at his messages and eventually resorted to scrolling through old photos in his gallery. Making decisions wasn’t his forte, and doing anything sounded much more appealing than thinking about the problem. 

Sandalphon was about to click on his third cooking video on YouTube, sinking slowly into the couch, when a notification covered half of his screen. 

_Wait, is that Belial?_

He’d forgotten they had exchanged phone numbers the night they met at the bar. Though because he hadn’t learned the man’s name until the next day he had a rather peculiar name for Belial in his contact list.

> **Nice tits:** heeeey~ have you been thinking about me?  (¬‿¬)
> 
> **San:** you mean like for the apartment?
> 
> **Nice tits:** what else would it be for? (¬‿¬)

Sandalphon coughed, looking at the contact name. Kudos to his past balls-to-the-wall plastered self for cutting straight to the point. _Huh. I need to remember to change that later._

> **San:** maybe stop with the double-meanings next time
> 
> **Nice tits:** awww but that’s what makes me charming (- ω・)
> 
> **San:** …
> 
> **San:** Anyway,
> 
> **San:** to tell you the truth I dont have money at all and looking for good paying jobs is hard for a high school drop out who has 0 redeeming qualities lol
> 
> **Nice tits:** hm
> 
> **Nice tits:** that’s ok
> 
> **Nice tits:** you can stay here while looking for a job, I don’t mind charging you when you have money saved (･ω-｀○)

Why was he being so nice? The only times he’d seen people act like this were in Gabriel’s weird crime shows where usually an organ or two would go missing. Which was not ideal…but at the same time he had nothing to lose at this point. Sandalphon sighed and cradled his head in his arms as he reviewed his options: 

**1.** Go back with Lucifer and be emotionally miserable but stable in every other way.

**2.** Stay with Gabriel and Michael until they kick him out eventually. 

**3.** Live with a dreamboat who might steal his organs while he sleeps. 

Or 

**4.** Die.

> **San:** it’s hard for me to decide
> 
> **San:** besides wouldn’t it be weird to have a roommate you almost fucked?
> 
> **Nice tits:** nah, I know how to behave. I’m not a monster unless I’m asked to be ;)
> 
> **Nice tits:** and I’ve never gone for seconds. I like my meals fresh ;) ;) ;)
> 
> **Nice tits:** unless you have my heart, but that’s all Lucilius’  <3
> 
> **Nice tits:** OH! that reminds me. did you find out the deal with the lucis? (ﾟρﾟ;
> 
> **San:** uh they’re twins
> 
> **Nice tits:** a
> 
> **San:** ?
> 
> **Nice tits:** a twin sandwich…  <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
> 
> **San:** hey. do you. value your life.
> 
> **Nice tits:** I’m joking!!! Lucilius would never permit it anyway… he can get greedy~ 
> 
> **San:** TMI
> 
> **San:** but ok I’ll think about it
> 
> **Nice tits:** see you soon ( ´ ▽ ` )b~~~

Sandalphon left his screen fade to black as he stared at the complete darkness of the room. He hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on when Mike and Gabe left.

“Ahh… how did I get in this mess? Maybe if I wasn’t such an unlovable fuck things would have gone differently with Lucifer.” Sandalphon clutched his phone against his chest and flopped onto his back on the couch. He missed Lucifer. All things considered he couldn’t blame Lucifer for not being more affectionate with him. After all, he had done so much for him but Sandy could never repay him. He gave him a place to stay when his parents kicked him out for dropping out of high school, he paid for Sandalphon’s transition, and he even made him feel wanted…at one point. These were all things that made Sandalphon feel like he owed that man his entire life. He felt ungrateful for leaving him, and he would have never done it if not for the fiery couple whose house he was crashing in. 

His self-deprecating thoughts were interrupted by the sound of what had to be bedsprings squeaking. 

_Oh Christ._ “Is that…”

A muffled giggle came from the bedroom at the end of the hall way followed by a shush.

He needed to move out **_right_ _now_**.

* * *

The noises from the other room that night felt like they went on forever, so around 4 AM Sandalphon decided to call a taxi and flee to safety. Safety in this case being Uriel’s bakery.

“Sorry for bothering you so early.” Sandalphon yawned from lack of sleep as he entered the quaint little shop, rubbing at his eyes with the edge of his worn sweatshirt. The whole place smelled of delicious breads rising in the oven.

“It’s alright, I love having guests over. You guys should visit me more!” Uriel was a tall muscular man, and was the owner of bakery. It also doubled as his home upstairs. This had come as a surprise to their joint friend group years back, as he was even more of a jock than Michael. But apparently one needed Big Strong Arms to knead dough to a perfect state. And _boy_ were they big. The reason no one visited him all that often, however, was because he’d make them work for free. After that, the overenthusiastic man would proceed to feed them pastries until they were on the verge of exploding. Poor Gabriel, that had been a very unfortunate hospital trip.

“I’m on a diet, Uri, really.”

“Ho? How many nuggets did you eat this time?” The slap the hulk of a man delivered to his back nearly sent Sandalphon toppling over, and left a puff of flour in the air. That was yet another reason why Sandy tended to avoid this place. _How the hell is he so awake this early?_

“Unrelated.”

“Sure, sure. Honestly, I thought being with Lucifer would make your palate more refined.”

“I… I’m actually breaking up with Lucifer, I think.”

“Oh.” Uriel looked crestfallen at the news. Clearly the man hadn’t been part of the gossip circle this time around. “I’m sorry man…”

“It’s ok,” Sandy scratched his head awkwardly, “But could you… help me get my stuff from his place today?”

Uriel perked up when he realized Sandalphon wasn’t about to cry on him. Which might’ve been a very real possibility not even two weeks ago.

“Sweet, I love going to his penthouse. I’ll gladly help you.” he patted Sandalphon’s back in a very bro way. Sandalphon several knots loosen immediately. “But is it really a job for more than one person…?”

“Well…” Sandalphon fidgeted, “I need you more as a _bodyguard_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me use emojis in my fics Ao3 you Cowards


End file.
